Coming together now...

In younger single days, in the search for 'Mr. Right', my friends and I would discuss at length on the virtues of this right man. How a suitable life partner should be this or that, and whether he needs to do this or that. Some of us, quite possibly inspired by self-help books, had listed these attributes down and meditated upon this list in the hopes of being able to recognize this 'Mr. Right' when he comes walking along. I, too, made a 'small' list - oh, only about 30-odd must-haves :) Well, after being in the singles' desert for awhile and wrestling with life lessons, the list became insignificant and lost; tall orders shrunk. Basic requirements remained, however, that this so-called 'Mr. Right', once selected, had to be nice and kind but most of all, not be the wrong one! :)

Other factors such as length of time in courtship and actually getting to know this person prior to marriage have also changed dramatically for me. Having aspired for an at least 2-years 'getting-to-know-you' period, my Mr. Right and I, knew each other for about 8 months before taking the plunge. The note on how this person ought to be a good 5 years or so older than myself also became obsolete. Wendell is a good 3 years younger than I.

Sometimes, I, we, wonder how, despite our lack of familiarity with each others' ways before tying the knot, we've managed to get to this point of our marriage without calling it quits. For, we came to loggerheads quite a bit and some folks may say that this is due to our not knowing who the person is before we married him/her. In some ways that seems true and in my experience so far, our 'adjusting' to each other has to a lot to do with our differing likes and dislikes; fundamental personality traits. Wendell likes to hang the laundry in a certain way; I hang however they come out of the machine. I do not prefer to do laundry, if I can help it! :) I also like to talk things and feelings through and again and again; Wendell likes to talk about it once or twice before it is completely out of his system.

Our saving grace in our marriage is very much, I think, in our being able to talk to each other... and be completely honest about things. And interestingly, the plus side of our 'different-ness' today is in how, we see ourselves come together more maturely; more compassionately. Yes, you can bet that we will still have the highs-and-lows. But it is a different roller-coaster ride these days - more challenge; more thrill. Indeed, we continue to cling on to each other for dear life... as we go round the bends :) In many many years to come, Kimo will surely have a voice on this and it would be interesting to see what he thinks of us two :)

BUT today! We live and rejoice in being with each other... the year is fast closing shop and so must I. In a Capricornian's world, this speaks of to-do listing, major house-cleaning, stocking-up on supplies... just the usual crossing the t's and dotting the i's :)