First day of school! First day of school!

Constant Change

Found this song...whose lyrics float into my head this morning, enjoy! :)

And one for the eyes... Kimo in his hidey-hole (where he keeps his book and toy stash! no wonder things keep disappearing)


And another one for "evidence" :) [I make a minor *er* appearance, ignore that part!]

Ah, the joys of not knowing!

Hello, dear readers!

Another week has gone by since my last post. How has the Kimster been doing, you say? Well... Kimo has been a very good boy, indeed. :)

He has fully acclimatized to his school routine, i.e., he wakes up and he knows that it's all chop-chop from then on - eat some breakfast, change into school clothes, then off to school. He's also comprehending the idea of "having friends"; we go down the list of his classmates each night before bed and he is able to say their names after me. And the goodness of his new love for school is rubbing on us, parents, too. Among other things, I simply have a little more time now to myself :)

However, while Kimo's playschool life has dominated my life this week, some of life's larger questions that I posted last year are coming up again...and I hope with them, definitive answers :) Whatever they may be in due time, it would involve a job or a move. Yes, I am either going back to full-time work, or full-time study - again!

Gulp!

On full-time work, well... I suppose my "living la vida loca" hiatus of sorts will come to an end. It has been extremely revealing to have taken one's self off the job market and "make it happen" away from the fast-moving cash flow. Like everyone with "in-between jobs right now" experiences, I have bills that do not get paid on time. And many a food was rebirth with a new name, in order to feed anew. Still, those with full-time jobs and being at the daily grind for umpteen years may pine and salivate over the lives of the relaxed and frugal. But truth be told, it is, or was, not all day-long watching of Oprah and HBO (or E! and Discovery)... but a lot of hive getting some work done among getting some living done over getting over some living. (I hope I make sense here!)

But! Yes, I enjoyed my "sabbatical" year - tremendously. As I said, it was extremely revealing and to top it off, a year of extreme being in states of happiness and awareness of all things around you.

On full-time student-ness, oh well! I'm getting good at that too ;) Yes, must continue to blaze that trail of "original idea" in my mind. Have those academically-inclined thoughts be reined in and organized. I think the theme for me in this area has always been trying to write something that others can understand. The dreamer-writer in me is almost always superfluous and wordy. So, that's my challenge this time around.

But yes, I am 38 now, with one young child. And yes, I have been told my well-meaning friends and family to "settle down" and get that stable job and income. Some have gone as far as telling me that my child will be ruined for life (including my husband) with my desire for study.

You know what, somehow the more I get told this, the more a clearer picture of myself comes into my mind. And I know, irrefutably, deep down in my bones, who I am - that I am not like these folks, and never will be. I was fashioned this way, so that I could live my life the way I see would best work for me.

I once asked Wendell, "So, what do you think Kimo will be like in the future?" This was after talking to him about how our winged feet are itching again for travel. "He will be like us... He will learn to like adventure", answered Wendell, whose name aptly means "the wanderer". My breath came out sounding relieved. It's this Zen-like question-and-answer moment that I like most in my life, as this kind of thing always gets me stumped. The girl with the mouth wanted a chance to go over the topic like a starving dog over a big meaty bone... but could not help but gape in awe at the truth of the moment... Kimo will probably like food, and or cooking, as I do... he will find something positive from travel... as we do...

'C' is for cookie and that's good enough for me...

Phew! I survived my first official week of "soccer-mom"-ish life, i.e., the ferrying of child to school and his activities; adding role of chauffeur to my existing host of managerial roles as mom and director of OOM [One's Own Home].

What has life been like under this scope, you say? Well... I was enlightened to several things, primarily Kimo's so-called development... and of course, as always, the minutest details of his life impact mine; so that, I, too, have been enlightened as to my own self-development.

Kimo received a daily progress report, at my request. But to re-cap: Yes, he is very, I mean VERY, excited to go to school each and every day. And no, he did not cry on his first day of school. In fact, we've been on the opposite receiving end: we seem to totally fade out of his mind each time we arrive at his school. The invisible giant springs under the soles of his shoes make him literally bound up to the school gate; gurgling babbles of delight audible as he scans to see toys, friends, and teachers. But before some of you envy me to no end; due to a still-low language production, those sounds of joy quickly escalate to shrieks, and piercing shrieks at that!!

And so, I have been told that Kimo still has "a long way to go". Will all that shrieking ever transform into articulate words that all can understand?

This week I realized that parents are at the mercy of their children's teachers. For the very moment that we committed to that thought of sending our kids to school; we've crossed that line of no-return where we hand-over some of the responsibility of training our children to behave better and essentially, do better in all that they do. So, any remark, stinging or not, are taken in by parents and these do dwell in one's thoughts; internally prodding one's conscience to that loaded question of "Have I done and am I doing enough for my child?"

Unfortunately, the more ignorant we are, as parents, on these matters of schooling and our children, the more we yield to whatever the authorities have to say about our children. Hence, we accept the labels they dish out, the on-the-spot evaluation teachers like to give, and other forms of sometimes criteria-less kid judging of our kid. The brunt of that kind of interaction between parent and school oft times translate into needling heartache and stress. Again, one wonders, whether what he/she did, or was remiss to do, as a parent prior to their child's schooling days resulted in this child being found "not polite", "rough", "too active", "dumb", "cannot focus", "worse than this other child", "naughty", among others. Back home, the poor child gets the once-over and for parents with a giant hole in their self-esteem, they will take it out on their kid and berate him or her for "shaming mummy or daddy" ['bikin malu'].

On the other hand, as a teacher myself, I have been on the other side of the buffet line having dished out lukewarm dishes of assessment now and again; I can empathize with both teacher and parent. However, as a parent now, the major difference I find when I am in my teacher role is that I aim to offer positive responses to demands for on-the-spot evaluations; whether from parents or my superior. If there is anything to say about the child that requires parents to take a seat; by all means, do so. Otherwise, interactions ought to be positive notes - Even as each child is different; each situation should also be deemed "unique" to the individual and be given adequate attention.

Back to my role as a mother, I am truly pleased to see that a child's developmental milestones are scattered with non-scheduled "resting spots". These spots represent pockets of time that intersperse throughout one's learning period to allow the child [and I suppose, the parent] to allow shifts in learning, and so enable the child to go into the next gear. In other words - at his pace, at his time; with your guidance and patience :)

You know, they say, your child's your best teacher? Well, I am studying hard! So, while others' grading of my child continues; the Kimo-and-mom team continues... where my desire is for Kimo to evaluate me and grade my parenting with an "A+" :)

As the waitress came back with a spoon, I said "Thank you" in the usual absent-mindedly way. She began to retreat when I realized that I was also missing a fork at my table. "Kasi garpu juga, ah? [Please give me a fork also, ok?], I said, in a polite tone. When said waitress came back, I took the fork. Waitress took leave and then we heard Kimo say, "Thank you"! Each and every day, when Kimo picks up a new positive word, we are rendered speechless... in awe and amazement at the little cogs turning in his mind. Okay, next - how do you teach the word "Sorry"? You know, even adults have the hardest time using this word...

Oprah 'fesses up & Kimo goes to school

Happy New Year to all of you, dear readers!

Oprah has started her "Bestlife" program and I was pleasantly surprised that we, in Malaysia, are not receiving a delayed telecast of this programming. I don't quite know if I caught it "live" tonight but we are definitely listening to Oprah as of 5-January-'09.

Yes, finally, her new program is centering on her life; her weight issues. Candid to a fault, Oprah turns the camera towards her and talks about her unraveling-ness - burnout at work; her thyroid. She was extremely frank and it was refreshing to have her allow viewers a solemn peek into her ups-and-downs; human frailty and all. Hey, Oprah! We're right behind ya ;)

Today, Kimo went to school for the first time! :)

We mentioned 'going to school' to him yesterday, several times. But, since the language skills haven't really kicked in yet, we did not get a register of understanding from him.

But this morning! Well... As soon as our car rolled up the school's driveway, his eyes started shining bright. I got out and helped him out of his seat. But I really didn't need to; he was very agile and it was like a spring developed in his shoe. He got out of the car in two giant steps; placed his hand in mine for a nano-second; all the while, looking eagerly at his new school and teachers. Boy, Kimo was super excited to begin his 1st day of school.

Having registered, we lingered around for a bit to assess what kind of student Kimo was like. He went this-a-way and that-a-way, looking for free blocks to play with; while the other kids began to protect their block supply. There were shrieks and squeals from Kimo; as he took bits of blocks to his end of the block/play table. From the window [yes, Wendell and I were interloping through the slats of the windows], I could see three green and yellow 'Z' like blocks. Kimo went "Z-Z-Z!" [zee-zee-zee!] and one can tell he was in a world of his own.

Exactly 2 1/2 hours later, I came back to pick him up. [Wendell was flat on his back attempting to fight his flu]. He gave his friends and teacher big hugs and kisses [I don't know if other parents like this body contact business]. Then I was given the low-down from the principal and teachers: "Kimo is - very active, likes to shriek and squeal, can sit down for group activity, loves to sing, but is clearly still operating in a world of his own. He needs to learn to socialize with others." Having noted this late last year, I agreed wholeheartedly. Well! I can only look forward to Kimo's progress as he learns to "play well with others" :)

Back at home, Kimo had a short nap and all too soon, we hear joyful shrieking again. He is so pumped-up! There was non-stop playing from him. And... his appetite doubled! There was non-stop eating from him too. And oh yes, a lot of chuckling going on tonight. I remarked to Wendell that it is as if he became truly alive for the first time today! I mean that, it was as if all of his 2.5 something years prepped him up to live fully today. He is so happy, zany, funny, robust - today. One can only wonder what dreams will flit about his consciousness tonight :)

Again, for me, Kimo's joy is infectious. His my little 'Oprah', on demand :) I feel that I am a better person when I am with him. For that, I am truly grateful to begin my year '09 with this zesty approach to life.

Yes, we still do not have all the answers yet to all our questions (and it is amazing that in a span of 5 days, one can accumulate a bag load of questions already). But, we only have to let Kimo's smile melt into ours... to feel that we are getting closer to what we need to know... and that makes me feel alright :)